Calm Down Strategies for Toddlers: 7 Ideas Parents Can Use at Home
Every parent of a toddler knows the moment. The shoes are on the wrong feet, the banana broke in half, and suddenly a small person is on the floor in tears. Big feelings are a normal part of being two, three or four years old. The part of the brain that helps us pause and calm down is still under construction, which means toddlers need us to lend them our calm until they can find their own.
The good news is that simple movement and breathing ideas from kids yoga work beautifully at home. They take a minute or two, need no equipment and give your child a set of tools they can use for years. Here are seven calm down strategies for toddlers that parents can start using today.
Why calm down strategies matter for toddlers
When a toddler is overwhelmed, reasoning rarely helps in the moment. Their body is in a stress response: fast breathing, tight muscles and a racing heart. Calming strategies work from the body up. Slow breathing, gentle pressure and rhythmic movement send a signal to the nervous system that it is safe to settle. Practised often when your child is already calm, these tools become familiar, so they are easier to reach for when feelings run high.
Our teachers see this every week in the more than 600 early learning centres Yoga Bears has worked with across Australia since 2019. Children who practise breathing games regularly start to use them on their own, often with no prompting at all.
1. Smell the flower, blow out the candle
Hold up one finger as a flower and another as a candle. Breathe in slowly through the nose to smell the flower, then breathe out gently through the mouth to blow out the candle. Repeat three to five times. The long out breath is the key, because it helps the body slow down. Toddlers love the pretend play, and you can swap in their favourite things, such as smelling a hot chip and cooling it down.
2. Teddy bear belly breathing
Lie down together and place a soft toy on your child's tummy. Ask them to rock the teddy to sleep by breathing slowly so it rises and falls. This is a lovely one to use before naps or bedtime. For more ideas like this, see our post on bedtime breathing games for kids at home.
3. Turtle in its shell
When things feel too loud or too much, invite your toddler to become a turtle. They kneel and fold forward into child's pose, with arms resting by their sides or a blanket over their back as a shell. Count five slow breaths together, then the turtle can peek its head out. This pose is calming because it creates a small, safe space and gentle pressure on the forehead and tummy.
4. Squeeze and let go
Ask your child to squeeze their hands into tight fists like they are holding a lemon, then drop the lemon and let their hands go floppy. Try it with shoulders up to the ears, then let them fall. Scrunch the face, then soften it. Tensing and releasing helps toddlers notice the difference between a tight, upset body and a relaxed one, which is an early step in understanding their own feelings.
5. Shake it out
Sometimes a toddler has too much energy to sit still and breathe. That is fine. Stand up together and shake one hand, then the other, then each foot, then the whole body like a wet puppy. Finish by freezing like a statue and taking one big breath. Movement first and stillness second is a pattern our teachers use in every class, and it works just as well in a lounge room.
6. Make a calm corner
A calm corner is a cosy spot your child can go to when they need a break. It is not a time out. It is a place to feel better. Add a cushion, a soft toy, a couple of picture books and a card showing one or two of the breathing games above. Visit it together when everyone is happy so it feels inviting, then suggest it gently when feelings start to bubble up.
7. Name it, then breathe
Simple words help. Try saying what you see: "You are feeling cross because the tower fell down." Then offer one breathing game. Naming the feeling shows your child you understand, and the breath gives them something to do with it. Over time they will start to use the words themselves.
Tips for making it stick
Practise when calm. Play these games during happy moments, such as bath time or the car ride home, so they feel familiar.
Keep it short. One or two minutes is plenty for a toddler.
Do it with them. Children copy what they see, so your slow breathing is the most powerful tool of all.
Stay patient. Some days the strategies will work like magic and some days they will not. Both are normal.
If transitions such as leaving the park or getting into the car seat are a common trigger, our guide on big feelings at transition time has more ideas you can borrow.
Bring kids yoga into your child's week
These games are drawn from the same playful, story based approach our teachers bring to childcare centres every week. If you would love your child's centre to offer kids yoga, share our childcare yoga programs page with your centre director, or get in touch with Yoga Bears and we can reach out to them.
